The first part of this Shipwreck Diary was written by my friend David Hughes. The second part was written by yours truly. You should all get quite a laugh out of this...Hopefully.
Part 1:
By: David Hughes
[shipwreck diary]
day 1: This place is a wreck
[shipwreck diary]
day 2: It's been almost a week
[shipwreck diary]
day 3: The dude next to me can hold his breath for 3 days. Going on 4. Very Impressive.
[shipwreck diary]
day 4: I finally got to see the inside of a cockpit. Mostly blood and piss. 4/10 would not recommend.
[shipwreck diary]
day 5: My balls are covered in sores. There's no soap anywhere. I haven't washed them in over a month.
[shipwreck diary]
day 6: What a difference a week makes. I can eat LITERALLY anything now, no complaints
[shipwreck diary]
day 7: I keep having the same nightmare. The plane is going down and the guy next to me isn't dead yet.
[shipwreck diary]
day 8: This reminds me of that slumber party in 6th grade where everyone died from head trauma. They ignored me too.
[shipwreck diary]
day 9: I found the plane's black box lodged up the pilots asshole. I tried to pull it out, but he was like "NO"
[shipwreck diary]
day 10: This is now the most amount of time I've spent spooning a corpse.
[shipwreck diary]
day 11: Was it 'robots in the skies' or 'robots in disguise'?
[shipwreck diary]
day 12: A plane flew over, so I fired the flare gun into my stomach because if I leave here I have to go back to work.
[shipwreck diary]
day 13: The rescue chopper flew past last night. I think it saw me fucking the life raft and decided to keep going.
[shipwreck diary]
day 14: I haven't had sex in a week
[shipwreck diary]
day 15: Had to perform a skin graft today. I've sewn 2 kneecaps onto my badly damaged testicles. It's an improvement.
[shipwreck diary]
day 16: Desperately needed company so, like in the movie Castaway, I painted a volleyball onto a dead man's face.
[shipwreck diary]
day 17: I have sent several SOS messages. One in a bottle, one on a bird and about 30 text messages. So far, nothing.
[shipwreck diary]
day 18: It's probably been more than a month. All I do is sleep and put objects from the wreckage inside me.
[shipwreck diary]
day 19: A ship sailed past. The guy had an average size dick. For a sailor I expected better.
[shipwreck diary]
day 20: I have just had the longest fucking nap
[shipwreck diary]
day 21: The Chinese guy didn't taste anything like I thought he would.
[shipwreck diary]
day 22 2:36pm: my watch survived the crash. 2 of my legs are broken.
[shipwreck diary]
day 23 2:36pm: Time has stopped. Legs still not healed
[shipwreck diary]
day 24: This cheese is ruined.
Part 2:
By: Cody Russell
[shipwreck diary]
day 1: I'm pretty lucky I found this diary
[shipwreck diary]
day 2: Saw two corpses spooning, one had a volleyball painted on its face. I also saw some spoiled Chinese food on a rock.
[shipwreck diary]
day 3: My hair is a mess, unfortunately, I didn't have the skill to make a comb. However, I made a working receiver device and I found a katana.
[shipwreck diary]
day 4: I lost my fucking katana!
[shipwreck diary]
day 5: I found a mysterious hatch today. It says "TO OPEN, PLEASE INSERT KATANA"
[shipwreck diary]
day 6: Note to self: dead bodies make terrible ventriloquist dolls.
[shipwreck diary]
day 7: A whole week already? Wow, time flies
[shipwreck diary]
day 8: Finally, a search team shows up. I had to camouflage my face with mud and hide behind a bush.
[shipwreck diary]
day 9: I found a new place that sand can get into. It's not great.
[shipwreck diary]
day 10: Wireless internet is working. I post on Facebook I need help and explain the situation. 1 like, 0 comments.
[shipwreck diary]
day 11: These months have given me time to think about just how horrible I had it before the crash.
[shipwreck diary]
day 12: I have created the perfect shelter. A two story house with an ocean view, three bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, walk in closets, and within walking distance of the beach. Also, a large yard which is great for outdoor BBQ's
[shipwreck diary]
day 13: I saw a crab today, it didn't have shorts or a shirt like the one on SpongeBob.
[shipwreck diary]
day 14: I am ashamed of myself for not seeing those banana trees on day 1. I mean, they are right along the beach
[shipwreck diary]
day 15: After over a year on the island, I have the strangest feeling like I should try shellfish
[shipwreck diary]
day 16: Thinking back, I don't even remember getting on a plane.
[shipwreck diary]
day 17: I found my katana, but the hatch is no where to be found.
[shipwreck diary]
day 18: THAT BEAR GRYLLS IS FULL OF SHIT!
[shipwreck diary]
day 19: Found a time machine with an 18 day limit.
[shipwreck diary]
day 20: That pizza is definitely free.
[shipwreck diary]
day 21: I haven't actually seen any crew members or passengers since the crash and the plane is completely empty
[shipwreck diary]
day 22: What are the odds of that? I found a Blu-ray copy of Castaway
[shipwreck diary]
day 23: I know I built a house and all, but I really prefer my banana leaf bed on the beach.
[shipwreck diary]
day 24: Running out of paper, so this diary isn't going to go on much lon
