Thursday, June 18, 2015

Funniest Things My Professors Have Said

These are in no particular order. I like to keep track of the humorous moments from college. Makes the experience looking back that much more memorable. The following are things my professors have said in class...

1.) Calculus 3 on 3D graphs of hyperbolas: "Use your focus to direct your P"  

2.) From Mechanics (the physics kind): "Mathematicians are too smart... I am not that smart, that's why I decided to be a physicist"

3.) Organic Chemistry: "ahhh... Organic Chemistry... The only place where the question 'where is the chloroform?' is not suspicious" 

4.) Abstract Algebra: "If you were to eliminate all the mathematical proofs out of the textbook, you would be left with the table of contents"

5.) Chemistry 2: "The PH value is 6.66....OH BOY"

6.) Discrete Math: "You literally get 2 points for putting your name on the test"

7.) Economics: "This class is a joke.....so, lets begin"

8.) Electricity and Magnetism: at the beginning of class "You know what? I just want to go home today....see you next week"

9.) Linear Algebra: "I find the best medicine is a big ole' piece of Taffy early in the A.M."

10.) Linear Algebra: "Once when I was hitchhiking through Bulgaria" .......

11.) Calculus 1: "come on guys a squirrel could pass my class"

12.) Abstract Algebra: " I am stalling because the stuff I have to teach you today is boring as hell"

The Best Things On Earth In My Opinion

 These are in no particular order.

1.) Clean sheets

2.) Getting paid for something you like doing

3.) Air conditioning

4.) Chocolate-chip cookies

5.) Doing well on a test you thought you were going to do terribly on

6.) Finding something important you thought you’d lost

7.) Finding something unimportant you thought you’d lost

8.) Love

9.) When a hard day’s work is over and you get some food and take off all your clothes and lie on the bed and watch Netflix

10.) Unfollowing someone on Twitter you never liked in the first place

11.) Fresh fruit

12.) Remembering a song you once really liked, but had forgot, and listening to it as memories come back

13.) Princess Bride -----> "Hello my name is Inigo Montoya, You killed my father. Prepare to die" 

14.) Great Gatsby by Fitzgerald

15.) The feeling after a bunch of errands are done

16.) Crisp twenty dollar bills

17.) The feeling you get after you work out

18.) Honesty

19.) People

20.) Humor

21.) Family

22.) Rare Steak

23.) Acts of human kindness

24.) Pad Thai.... Actually, all Thai and Chinese Food

25.) Road trips

26.) The Symphonies of Beethoven

27.) Music

28.) Road trips

29.) Taco Bell

30.) This mix:  https://soundcloud.com/diplo/diplo-friends-bbcr1xtra-diplo

31.) Lamborghini's

32.) Free samples at grocery stores

33.) Finding money on the ground

34.) Realizing what you want to do with your life

35.) When it rains very hard

36.) Talking in bed with someone you are fond of and who is fond of you

37.) Having confidence

38.) Kids

39.)You

Sunday, June 7, 2015

The Worst Things On Earth In My Opinion

No particular order

1.) Hunger

2.) Disease

3.) People who drive closely to the car in front of them for no reason

4.) Stale chips

5.) Most comments on most websites

6.) Candy corn

7.) Peeps

8.) Human trafficking

9.) Any type of appointment

10.) Self published fiction

11.) People who correct you and make sure you know it when you mispronounce something

12.) Chris Brown

13.) Kanye West

14.) People who call themselves "blank" but don’t earn a living by doing "blank"

15.) When someone smells like they bathed in Cologne or Perfume

16.) Rape

17.) Most poetry

18.) White person dreads

19.) Vegan Hamburgers

20.) Anything Daniel Tosh does or says

21.) Jeniffer Lopez

22.) Justin Bieber for who he is as a person

23.) Well done Steak

24.) Having to check a voicemail

25.) Racism

26.) Having the kind of poop where it takes so many wipes

27.) People who talk during movies at the theater

28.) People who kick your seat at the theater

29.) People who favorite everything on Twitter

30.) People who brag about how great their life is on the internet

31.) Not giving tips

32.) Social Anxiety

33.) Depression