Lately I've been thinking a lot about the "YES" mentality. We're often told that saying "yes" to circumstances and people who we'd otherwise say "no" to can be healthy, and open us up to a new world of opportunities. But saying "no" can be empowering as well, because in doing so we are eliminating circumstances that don't serve the greatest version of ourselves. We have to know ourselves in order to know when to say "yes" or "no."
"No" is a word in which a lot of people think it is a negative word. Looking at my life I have never really realized the power of "No" and how amazing it is to use sometimes. I am sure you have asked a friend to do something for you, but they respond with "I'll think about it" or "I'll let you know later" when in fact they really just want to say "No." The reason for this is because they don't want to offend anybody.
Most people look at the word "no" and think negative and "yes" as positive, but I don't really see it like that. I don't see things as being negative or positive. But we have to express how we feel. The word "no" shouldn't be something we need to be afraid to use because a lot of the time people will find themselves in a tough situation because they were afraid to say "no."
I have come to realize that guilt is a useless emotion, and a lot of the times that's where it all emanates from because we feel guilty when we say "no."
Person 1: "Can you do me a favor?"
Person 2: "No"
Person 2 feels guilty in this situation, so instead of saying "no"
Person 1: "Can you do me a favor?"
Person 2: "I'll think about it"
Person 2 says they will think about it when it fact they already know they can't do it.
When I have had the courage to just say "no" I have realized that it frees so much space and it creates a much greater inner balance because you have been real with yourself. Nobody is perfect and I have realized that perfectionism is a curse. A lot of people want to be the saint, the good Samaritan, but this will never happen because there is no perfection in nature.
We come into this world to live our lives. We don't live through other people. A lot of parents will want their children to live through them, but I say "No!" You must live for yourself.
"No" is a word of liberation just as the word "Yes" is. Don't be afraid to use either.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Saturday, October 22, 2016
Road To Revelation
While listening to the song The Road To Revolution by Dream Theater the other day I couldn't help notice that a certain lyric stuck in my mind. The lyric is:
"When the man in the mirror takes a long hard look at me, will the person staring back be the man I want to be?"
This particular song lyric really grabbed me because I can relate to this more than I could probably explain. It is basically saying, are you the person you want to be, or are you pretending to be someone you're not? Here is the song if you're interested. It truly is an amazing song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhlzm0fLldE
I think everybody at some point in their lives looks in the mirror and ponders who they are. There are few things more depressing than not truly knowing yourself.
I think society has a false perception of success which in turn creates a false perception of yourself. We are told life is being born, school, good job, marriage, kids, bills, retirement, death. If you're lucky maybe you'll get to travel two times a year. The average human works a 9-5 job then comes home and watches TV until bed time. Rinse then repeat! Most people will live and die in the same place they grew up. This doesn't sound like any serious life experience to me. The way society defines success is not the way I define success.
I use to think money was happiness until I realized that it was the experiences I have had that I remembered and not the money it cost to have those experiences. You need to say I did this and that instead of saying I didn't do this or that, but I saved money. You can't sacrifice your joy in pursuit of living a life you don't want just because it is considered successful to everyone around you. It's a sick an disturbing mentality if you think of it for a second and just don't jump to the automatic reptilian survival brain response of "I need money to live." It's true you need money to live unfortunately in this perverted society. However, you don't need a lot of money to live. Yeah, if you want to fit into the mainstream society you do, to buy $300 shoes and $30,000 cars. If you want to live and not divulge in unnecessary bullshit you don't need a lot of money. Sacrifice for a year. Eat rice and grow your own food. Stop wasting your money on popping bottles and going out to fit in with people you don't even like. Build the life you want. Create! But it is going to take sacrifice. It will not be easy. But it will be worth it. There are no excuses, only choices. You choose the life you want and the person you want to be. You can complain, but at the end of the day that won't get you anywhere. Follow your heart. Take chances. Fight for what you love and don't ever settle for security. It is a trap that you will regret when you're 75 years old with a lot of paper money and no inner happiness. When you reach 75 years of age chances are you won't have the energy to do a lot of things. So do them now, don't care so much about the money. Money can create temporal pleasure, but it will not give you fulfillment. That comes with actually living your life and doing everything you want to do. And when you do what you want to do and what you love to do, the money will come even greater than when you would settle for a career. This is the road to revelation.
So, when you look into the mirror. Will the person staring back be the person you want to be?
"When the man in the mirror takes a long hard look at me, will the person staring back be the man I want to be?"
This particular song lyric really grabbed me because I can relate to this more than I could probably explain. It is basically saying, are you the person you want to be, or are you pretending to be someone you're not? Here is the song if you're interested. It truly is an amazing song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhlzm0fLldE
I think everybody at some point in their lives looks in the mirror and ponders who they are. There are few things more depressing than not truly knowing yourself.
I think society has a false perception of success which in turn creates a false perception of yourself. We are told life is being born, school, good job, marriage, kids, bills, retirement, death. If you're lucky maybe you'll get to travel two times a year. The average human works a 9-5 job then comes home and watches TV until bed time. Rinse then repeat! Most people will live and die in the same place they grew up. This doesn't sound like any serious life experience to me. The way society defines success is not the way I define success.
I use to think money was happiness until I realized that it was the experiences I have had that I remembered and not the money it cost to have those experiences. You need to say I did this and that instead of saying I didn't do this or that, but I saved money. You can't sacrifice your joy in pursuit of living a life you don't want just because it is considered successful to everyone around you. It's a sick an disturbing mentality if you think of it for a second and just don't jump to the automatic reptilian survival brain response of "I need money to live." It's true you need money to live unfortunately in this perverted society. However, you don't need a lot of money to live. Yeah, if you want to fit into the mainstream society you do, to buy $300 shoes and $30,000 cars. If you want to live and not divulge in unnecessary bullshit you don't need a lot of money. Sacrifice for a year. Eat rice and grow your own food. Stop wasting your money on popping bottles and going out to fit in with people you don't even like. Build the life you want. Create! But it is going to take sacrifice. It will not be easy. But it will be worth it. There are no excuses, only choices. You choose the life you want and the person you want to be. You can complain, but at the end of the day that won't get you anywhere. Follow your heart. Take chances. Fight for what you love and don't ever settle for security. It is a trap that you will regret when you're 75 years old with a lot of paper money and no inner happiness. When you reach 75 years of age chances are you won't have the energy to do a lot of things. So do them now, don't care so much about the money. Money can create temporal pleasure, but it will not give you fulfillment. That comes with actually living your life and doing everything you want to do. And when you do what you want to do and what you love to do, the money will come even greater than when you would settle for a career. This is the road to revelation.
So, when you look into the mirror. Will the person staring back be the person you want to be?
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Living In Alignment With The Highest Version Of Yourself
When I was younger in my junior high and high school days, I didn't believe in myself. I always felt that I wasn't good enough to get what I want. I would try so hard to fit in with the "cool" kids even though I didn't like most of them. I would lie about myself uncontrollably in order to get people to like me. I didn't care about school at all. I had no plans to go to college. I would fail a test and not think twice about it. My mom would always get on me about having so many missing assignments or the fact that I was failing a class. I was the kid who acted cool. I was the kid who didn't care. The kid who sagged his pants because it was looked at as being popular. The kid who thought social status would bring him happiness.
I have had a lot of hardships in my life. Social anxiety that I never told anyone about because I thought it was a "weak" thing to do. Depression that caused crying in the shower that hid the tears from my mom. I acted happy. I acted like everything would be alright. But that was the furthest thing from the truth.
The kid I was in high school doesn't exist anymore, but I can still feel who he was deep down inside, and the feelings and emotions I can remember on the drop of a penny.
It is seven years after high school and I am now 25 years old. I look at that as being a quarter of a century. Everyone else looks at it like "you have your whole life ahead of you." I ask myself if I wasted seven years of my life. I started college right after high school, but I still didn't care. I was going into mechanical engineering and I thought it would make me happy eventually. I was taking all these math and physics classes which I loved, but I never had the motivation to do well. "Maybe this isn't for me" I thought. But I finally got my associates degree after three and a half years of half ass-ing it and taking a couple semesters off. I felt accomplished and told everybody how hard I had worked and how I did this and that, but there I am lying about myself again. I thought "well, do I half ass it some more and get my bachelors? I can then get a good paying job that I don't like, but at least I will be financial secure." So, I applied to a four year university. "I got in, would you look at that?"
Everyone was so happy, telling me they are so proud. I didn't care if people were proud of me or not. I wanted to be proud of me!!! Why wasn't I? I am 22 years old and I have absolutely no f*cking idea what I want to do with my life. That's why. Plus, everyone I went to high school with was already graduating with a four year degree. I am at the end of the line just like I have always felt. I went from mechanical engineering to just math because I wanted to teach. Sure I am good at math, but there are just so many times you can go to class, learn some new material come home and do the homework. I hated the repetition. I was a mess. I started not to care even more, which I didn't think was even possible. I was 4 classes away from my math degree, but I was having problems in my relationship at the time, which was never good for me, but I refused to admit it. So, I wasted yet another year by dealing with a breakup and no motivation. 24 years old and I am still in school. My life is going nowhere fast. I was falling apart in every aspect of my life.
Through all of that, I never went to therapy. I never told my parents about any of it. I was scared what they would think. I helped myself by reading self help books and blogs based on other people's experiences. I tried my hardest to learn how to be the person I really am. I picked up hobbies along the way. I actually got really interested in learning the stock market. I am always trying to better myself. I can always be improving in something. I was truly invested in this. I saw my confidence go up. I recently switched my major to finance because of it. Even though I have a year and a half to go, I know I will be successful because I am determined to get what I want. Bettering myself was a slow process each and every day. I found out that I love to help people. I have always been really good with money, so why not become a personal financial advisor I thought. I was on the right path finally. This is what I want to do!!!
In order to live in alignment with the highest version of yourself you need to reinvent yourself. This is for everybody who has had similar experiences. Everybody who has had social anxiety and/or depression. For everybody who doesn't believe in themselves. I had to give a back story in order for any of this next part to make sense. How do you live as your greatest self?
Positive mind + Positive environment = Positive life
It's scary. Suddenly we find ourselves staring into the eyes of strangers, but our hearts long to connect with them, perhaps to feel what's been lost. People are so unique, and despite how they treat you, what they have to offer is priceless to this unfolding story we call "Our Lives."
We forget. We lose sight of whats so important, only to be bitterly reminded. Love of life. Love of fright. Love of uncertainty. Embrace it all and take it in stride each day, happy and sad, comes to pass, just like the weather. Right here. Right now. I love it when my mind wanders, but I know now that it's important to bring it back. I think of who I was. Who I am. What I'm doing, which is still largely a wonder, but I have realized that's alright.
Let your own humanity guide you to letting go of the fear that comes next. Just be here. Please don't fret when you're alone and scared. Everything is fine. You are loved. There is something that fights within you even if you don't know what that something is yet. Don't ever let fear hold you back from what is in your heart. This world needs more compassion. Be that change. Be that action. Be that change that makes that action happen.
You got this. Even if you don't realize it. You have a brand new day ahead, so fight your demons and ditch your fears. Remember that more important than trying to get "there" is being thankful to be "here."
Complaining about something will never fix a problem. Take the initiative to fix it, and if you can't fix it, then there is no use complaining about it. Complaining is a fast road to negativity. You have to make the conscience choice to perceive challenges as something beneficial. That way you are able to deal with them in the most productive way. Things will be alright in the end, accept that and move on. Even when things don't go according to plan, there's a way to appreciate the experience. Trust the process. Trust yourself.
I have had a lot of hardships in my life. Social anxiety that I never told anyone about because I thought it was a "weak" thing to do. Depression that caused crying in the shower that hid the tears from my mom. I acted happy. I acted like everything would be alright. But that was the furthest thing from the truth.
The kid I was in high school doesn't exist anymore, but I can still feel who he was deep down inside, and the feelings and emotions I can remember on the drop of a penny.
It is seven years after high school and I am now 25 years old. I look at that as being a quarter of a century. Everyone else looks at it like "you have your whole life ahead of you." I ask myself if I wasted seven years of my life. I started college right after high school, but I still didn't care. I was going into mechanical engineering and I thought it would make me happy eventually. I was taking all these math and physics classes which I loved, but I never had the motivation to do well. "Maybe this isn't for me" I thought. But I finally got my associates degree after three and a half years of half ass-ing it and taking a couple semesters off. I felt accomplished and told everybody how hard I had worked and how I did this and that, but there I am lying about myself again. I thought "well, do I half ass it some more and get my bachelors? I can then get a good paying job that I don't like, but at least I will be financial secure." So, I applied to a four year university. "I got in, would you look at that?"
Everyone was so happy, telling me they are so proud. I didn't care if people were proud of me or not. I wanted to be proud of me!!! Why wasn't I? I am 22 years old and I have absolutely no f*cking idea what I want to do with my life. That's why. Plus, everyone I went to high school with was already graduating with a four year degree. I am at the end of the line just like I have always felt. I went from mechanical engineering to just math because I wanted to teach. Sure I am good at math, but there are just so many times you can go to class, learn some new material come home and do the homework. I hated the repetition. I was a mess. I started not to care even more, which I didn't think was even possible. I was 4 classes away from my math degree, but I was having problems in my relationship at the time, which was never good for me, but I refused to admit it. So, I wasted yet another year by dealing with a breakup and no motivation. 24 years old and I am still in school. My life is going nowhere fast. I was falling apart in every aspect of my life.
Through all of that, I never went to therapy. I never told my parents about any of it. I was scared what they would think. I helped myself by reading self help books and blogs based on other people's experiences. I tried my hardest to learn how to be the person I really am. I picked up hobbies along the way. I actually got really interested in learning the stock market. I am always trying to better myself. I can always be improving in something. I was truly invested in this. I saw my confidence go up. I recently switched my major to finance because of it. Even though I have a year and a half to go, I know I will be successful because I am determined to get what I want. Bettering myself was a slow process each and every day. I found out that I love to help people. I have always been really good with money, so why not become a personal financial advisor I thought. I was on the right path finally. This is what I want to do!!!
In order to live in alignment with the highest version of yourself you need to reinvent yourself. This is for everybody who has had similar experiences. Everybody who has had social anxiety and/or depression. For everybody who doesn't believe in themselves. I had to give a back story in order for any of this next part to make sense. How do you live as your greatest self?
How to live in alignment with the highest version of yourself
- Do more of what you like
This one is the easiest. Do you like to draw or write? Play an instrument? Whatever it is that you like doing, do more of it. Set aside an addition 15-20 min a day to indulge in what you like doing. It might not seem like much, but in a years time, 20 minutes a day adds up to a little over five days.
There is a quote by Kerouac that says, "In the end, you wont remember the time you spent in the office or mowing the lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain."
You will only remember the things you liked doing. So why not do more of it?
There is a quote by Kerouac that says, "In the end, you wont remember the time you spent in the office or mowing the lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain."
You will only remember the things you liked doing. So why not do more of it?
- Worry less about pleasing others
This one can be tricky because there are times we need validation to know that the decisions we are making are "right"... that is to say in accordance with the best version of ourselves... or at least, won't send us to our own personal hells. So usually, we look for that validation in other people, someone to say, "You're great, and unique, and wonderful." And you are all of those things, but you don't need someone else to tell you. Anyway, real validation from others comes only when you can look yourself in the eye and know you're doing your best, and believing that you are great, and unique, and wonderful.
You'll know you're on the right track when you start to notice synchronies, like when you talk about a song you haven't heard in years and then it comes on the radio, when you think of an old friend and then they contact you. How about when you notice that you're starting to feel better about yourself because you believed it could happen?
I am not saying this is magic. I'm saying that you are what you pay attention to, so noticing coincidence is really just about being present in this exact moment + tapping into your full potential.
Hearing sympathy is all fine and well. People will speak their opinions and say what they want to say and truly mean it, but you just have to know that you don't need that sympathy or validation. You're fine on your own.
So you don't need anyone to tell you that you're right or wrong, or what you should or shouldn't do. Just strive to be your greatest version and do your best not to harm anyone else in the process. Everything else will follow.
You'll know you're on the right track when you start to notice synchronies, like when you talk about a song you haven't heard in years and then it comes on the radio, when you think of an old friend and then they contact you. How about when you notice that you're starting to feel better about yourself because you believed it could happen?
I am not saying this is magic. I'm saying that you are what you pay attention to, so noticing coincidence is really just about being present in this exact moment + tapping into your full potential.
Hearing sympathy is all fine and well. People will speak their opinions and say what they want to say and truly mean it, but you just have to know that you don't need that sympathy or validation. You're fine on your own.
So you don't need anyone to tell you that you're right or wrong, or what you should or shouldn't do. Just strive to be your greatest version and do your best not to harm anyone else in the process. Everything else will follow.
- Chase experiences rather than money
You could be the richest person in the world and have nothing to tell, or the poorest person and have endless life stories. One focuses on money and the other focuses on living life. Money is great and monetary fulfillment is an excellent goal to have, but you can't chase money just to find out you wasted your life doing so. My personal definition of success is how much you can acquire that can't be replaced. Things like a family one day. People in your life that you love and care for. How you make people feel is the most valuable currency there is. Things of this nature.
Materialistic things are nice, but you can replace cars, houses, jobs, money. I want things that no one will ever be able to replace.
Think about your direct bodily experience in life. No one can lie to you about that. How many hours a day do you spend in front of a television screen? A computer screen? A phone screen? How much of your life comes at you through a screen, vicariously while you sit there and watch? Is watching things as exciting as doing things? Do you have enough time to do all the things you want to do? Do you think to yourself independently, or do you take others' word for truth? Who or what controls your minutes or hours? The very minutes and hours that make up your life.
Can you put a value on a beautiful day? How many dollars and hour salary does it take for you to stay inside for eight hours five days a week to sell things or file some papers for someone else? What will you get later that will make up for this day of your life? How often does your happiness come into conjunction with buying something? Do you have ideas or do ideas have you?
The point is, people are buying your happiness from you. Steal it back and experience life. Don't let money be an issue all the time, take random road trips, skydive, run a marathon... just don't settle for something you hate no matter how much they pay you.
I once watched a bird hop from branch to branch, heading for berries at the top of a tree. It didn't look back at the path it came from, or worry about how it would get back from where it was going. It didn't ask other birds the best way to get there. It just went in pursuit of what it needed.
Go after what you need.
Materialistic things are nice, but you can replace cars, houses, jobs, money. I want things that no one will ever be able to replace.
Think about your direct bodily experience in life. No one can lie to you about that. How many hours a day do you spend in front of a television screen? A computer screen? A phone screen? How much of your life comes at you through a screen, vicariously while you sit there and watch? Is watching things as exciting as doing things? Do you have enough time to do all the things you want to do? Do you think to yourself independently, or do you take others' word for truth? Who or what controls your minutes or hours? The very minutes and hours that make up your life.
Can you put a value on a beautiful day? How many dollars and hour salary does it take for you to stay inside for eight hours five days a week to sell things or file some papers for someone else? What will you get later that will make up for this day of your life? How often does your happiness come into conjunction with buying something? Do you have ideas or do ideas have you?
The point is, people are buying your happiness from you. Steal it back and experience life. Don't let money be an issue all the time, take random road trips, skydive, run a marathon... just don't settle for something you hate no matter how much they pay you.
I once watched a bird hop from branch to branch, heading for berries at the top of a tree. It didn't look back at the path it came from, or worry about how it would get back from where it was going. It didn't ask other birds the best way to get there. It just went in pursuit of what it needed.
Go after what you need.
- Make time for yourself
It doesn't matter if your purpose is altruism or making three million
dollars and living on an island. Just strive for what makes you happy
because anything else is a waste of time. Everyone needs alone time. Get out in nature. Surrounding yourself in nature is therapeutic. It recharges the mind in ways that are needed from to much time in society. You can learn a lot from what you observe. So make some time for yourself and let go of some mental debris, you'll be surprised at the clarity you feel afterwards.
- Have confidence
Having confidence is super easy, but it is looked at as being something hard to master. I use to be terrified to ask girls out or even start conversations with them. I use to dread job interviews because my voice would tremble. I use to actually believe I wasn't good enough to be someones boyfriend even though I am the guy who would actually pick you up at your door with flowers, open the car door for you and pull your chair out at a restaurant. I have always had a lot of love to give and for the longest time I thought that made me weak. I try to keep romance alive and I don't care who sees it. I can't live my life not being true to what I believe.
Next time you want to ask someone out say to yourself "The worst that can happen is they say no." Next time you have a job interview say to yourself "The worst that can happen is I don't get the job, but I will still be successful."
The point I am trying to make is, no matter what happens, always believe in yourself. When you truly believe in yourself, the confidence will be there. Don't say things like "What if I don't get the job?" or "What if they don't want to go out with me?" By saying things like this you are setting yourself up for failure and in turn your confidence will go down dramatically.
Always believe things will work out in every situation, and when they don't, know that they will next time.
Next time you want to ask someone out say to yourself "The worst that can happen is they say no." Next time you have a job interview say to yourself "The worst that can happen is I don't get the job, but I will still be successful."
The point I am trying to make is, no matter what happens, always believe in yourself. When you truly believe in yourself, the confidence will be there. Don't say things like "What if I don't get the job?" or "What if they don't want to go out with me?" By saying things like this you are setting yourself up for failure and in turn your confidence will go down dramatically.
Always believe things will work out in every situation, and when they don't, know that they will next time.
- Surround yourself with positive people
By doing this you're going to start to feel better almost immediately. Have you ever noticed that crews of positive thinking people come up together? It is not a coincidence that many successful people knew each other BEFORE success was evident. Your vibe attracts your tribe, and when you're being generous with your time and talent, you're going to get that back tenfold because people will benefit from what you can't use, and it return give you the resources they have to share. Karma is a real thing and the decisions you make can be tremendously powerful, even those seemingly little ones. Positivity is extremely contagious.
Positive mind + Positive environment = Positive life
- Remember that fear is an illusion
It's scary. Suddenly we find ourselves staring into the eyes of strangers, but our hearts long to connect with them, perhaps to feel what's been lost. People are so unique, and despite how they treat you, what they have to offer is priceless to this unfolding story we call "Our Lives."
We forget. We lose sight of whats so important, only to be bitterly reminded. Love of life. Love of fright. Love of uncertainty. Embrace it all and take it in stride each day, happy and sad, comes to pass, just like the weather. Right here. Right now. I love it when my mind wanders, but I know now that it's important to bring it back. I think of who I was. Who I am. What I'm doing, which is still largely a wonder, but I have realized that's alright.
Let your own humanity guide you to letting go of the fear that comes next. Just be here. Please don't fret when you're alone and scared. Everything is fine. You are loved. There is something that fights within you even if you don't know what that something is yet. Don't ever let fear hold you back from what is in your heart. This world needs more compassion. Be that change. Be that action. Be that change that makes that action happen.
You got this. Even if you don't realize it. You have a brand new day ahead, so fight your demons and ditch your fears. Remember that more important than trying to get "there" is being thankful to be "here."
- See the best in people and yourself
Why are so many people hung up on looks these days? Sometimes society and other people tell us that be to beautiful we have to look a certain way. There's a lot of unhealthy trends that make us talk about others and feel bad about ourselves. We don't have to let those things affect us; don't ever let anyone else make you believe you aren't beautiful. Practice being kind to others. Smile when you look in the mirror. What you consider flaws are just things you haven't appreciated yet.
Don't judge someone based on their looks. They could be the nicest person in the world, but you didn't talk to them because...they weren't pretty or handsome?
If your looks are a 10, but your personality is a 3, then you're a 3.
Personality is huge in my book, it accounts for probably 80% of what I look for in a partner.
See the kindness people have to offer, not the pimple on their face.People have a lot to offer, take advantage of that and give them a chance.
Don't judge someone based on their looks. They could be the nicest person in the world, but you didn't talk to them because...they weren't pretty or handsome?
If your looks are a 10, but your personality is a 3, then you're a 3.
Personality is huge in my book, it accounts for probably 80% of what I look for in a partner.
See the kindness people have to offer, not the pimple on their face.People have a lot to offer, take advantage of that and give them a chance.
- Always strive to learn something new or do something new
Everything you do should cater to some higher, better version of yourself. It is easy to fall into habits because they are comfortable or easy or familiar. But we grow by making ourselves uncomfortable. We have to constantly be learning, pushing, smiling as we dig out the dirty parts.
Learning and doing new things will make you a more interesting person not only to other people, but to you as well. The feeling of accomplishment and clarity when you learn a new skill or do something you have never done is amazing.
Learning and doing new things will make you a more interesting person not only to other people, but to you as well. The feeling of accomplishment and clarity when you learn a new skill or do something you have never done is amazing.
- Stick to what you believe
Our realities are created based on our beliefs. If you believe you're worth your space in this world, then you will be. If you believe you can't do something, then you're probably right. In order to create a positive abundant reality for ourselves we have to feel what is in our hearts.
Never go along with what other people believe in order to fit in. It will do you more harm than it will good. If other people doubt you, that's fine, you can easily blow that off. If you doubt yourself by not sticking true to what you believe, that is what is going to stop you.
Your main belief should always be in yourself.
Never go along with what other people believe in order to fit in. It will do you more harm than it will good. If other people doubt you, that's fine, you can easily blow that off. If you doubt yourself by not sticking true to what you believe, that is what is going to stop you.
Your main belief should always be in yourself.
- Trust your gut
I am sure you have caught yourself at times worrying about an outcome of a decision. You ask yourself if this choice is the right one to make. You have to remember to breathe and trust your gut. I think we all can benefit from little reminders like these sometimes. You can't stay the same and expect your life to change. Struggle is the catalyst for growth and growth is never a bad thing. The pressure is good for you. The only way to go is up.
- Never complain about a problem that can be fixed
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
There Is Nothing Wrong With You
If I could give one piece of advice to my younger self it would be that there is nothing wrong with me. That doesn't just go for me, but for each and every one of you who might be reading this. Does that sound cliche? I don't mean for it to sound like I'm patting you on the head telling you everything will be alright. I just want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You can try to be a better person or work harder, but that won't do anything to prove that you're worth your space in this world. The only person who can decide that is you. There is something extremely freeing when you realize that you are the one who gets to decide how you feel about literally everything. If you don't believe in who you are, then noting will ever matter.
There is nothing you have to prove to anyone. Even if someone told you that you couldn't do something and you then did it. You are the only person who has to accept yourself, don't waste your time trying to prove someone wrong. We all experience thoughts of not being good enough, not being lovable, not worthy of something, but there is no manner of things you can achieve in order to convince you of something you don't believe in yourself. It is alright to have emotions and beliefs about something as long as you remember you can't outrun your own life. These negative beliefs you have about yourself will grow over time and become hugely damaging beliefs. Trust me. I had searched for happiness and something greater than myself for a very long time. I finally realized that I am the one I have been looking for just as you are the one you have been looking for.
I need you to know that you are enough just the way you are. In all honesty, you're living what you believe about yourself. Everyday we have two options: to be thankful for what we have and to live in alignment with who we are, or to criticize ourselves and others because we or they aren't "good enough" and that's a losing game even if you think you've won. Don't let other people's options dictate how you live your life. As you've heard the quote "the ones that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter." At the end of the day you're living for YOU, and you don't have to let your ego dictate your decisions. You can have and be whatever you want, just get out of your own damn way!
Attention is not and never will be love. Likes on Facebook, followers on twitter are not an indictment of your value, no matter how many you have or don't. You are as valuable as you believe you are. Your value exists without condition. Your strength is in being a good person. It is not your loud voice. There is a strength in standing up for yourself even when it seems the entire world is against you. Each and every day is different and you can turn it all around with a quick decision to do so. Change comes slowly then all at once. Everything in this life is up to you. Do the things that make you come alive. Be the person you were meant to be. It is alright to feel things.
Lately I've been feeling kind of in-between-ey, I catch myself thinking about all the things I've wanted to be that have either ended or faded, things that have been left somewhere to rest in the past. I get nostalgic and wish I could relive it all. Life seems to speed up and slow down. You can live a year in a week, or experience months of quiet introspect. This is one of those quiet times, but I feel like something is about to happen. However, I am not in a hurry to find out what that something is, because I feel like right now is one of those parts of my life that the future me will look back on fondly and probably miss.
Just remember... There is nothing wrong with you!
You're valuable
You're lovable
You're worthy of everything you want.
There is nothing you have to prove to anyone. Even if someone told you that you couldn't do something and you then did it. You are the only person who has to accept yourself, don't waste your time trying to prove someone wrong. We all experience thoughts of not being good enough, not being lovable, not worthy of something, but there is no manner of things you can achieve in order to convince you of something you don't believe in yourself. It is alright to have emotions and beliefs about something as long as you remember you can't outrun your own life. These negative beliefs you have about yourself will grow over time and become hugely damaging beliefs. Trust me. I had searched for happiness and something greater than myself for a very long time. I finally realized that I am the one I have been looking for just as you are the one you have been looking for.
I need you to know that you are enough just the way you are. In all honesty, you're living what you believe about yourself. Everyday we have two options: to be thankful for what we have and to live in alignment with who we are, or to criticize ourselves and others because we or they aren't "good enough" and that's a losing game even if you think you've won. Don't let other people's options dictate how you live your life. As you've heard the quote "the ones that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter." At the end of the day you're living for YOU, and you don't have to let your ego dictate your decisions. You can have and be whatever you want, just get out of your own damn way!
Attention is not and never will be love. Likes on Facebook, followers on twitter are not an indictment of your value, no matter how many you have or don't. You are as valuable as you believe you are. Your value exists without condition. Your strength is in being a good person. It is not your loud voice. There is a strength in standing up for yourself even when it seems the entire world is against you. Each and every day is different and you can turn it all around with a quick decision to do so. Change comes slowly then all at once. Everything in this life is up to you. Do the things that make you come alive. Be the person you were meant to be. It is alright to feel things.
Lately I've been feeling kind of in-between-ey, I catch myself thinking about all the things I've wanted to be that have either ended or faded, things that have been left somewhere to rest in the past. I get nostalgic and wish I could relive it all. Life seems to speed up and slow down. You can live a year in a week, or experience months of quiet introspect. This is one of those quiet times, but I feel like something is about to happen. However, I am not in a hurry to find out what that something is, because I feel like right now is one of those parts of my life that the future me will look back on fondly and probably miss.
Just remember... There is nothing wrong with you!
You're valuable
You're lovable
You're worthy of everything you want.
Monday, August 1, 2016
How To Truly Be In A Relationship
I am not sure how to even start this, so I might as well just jump into it.
The majority of society doesn't commit anymore.
Intimacy does not lie in a string of emoji.
Effort is not a good morning text.
Caring is not asking "How was your day?" to which they reply "good" or "bad" then the conversation is over.
Attention does not mean love.
A date is not sitting across from one another at a restaurant while you're both on your phones.
So, why don't people commit anymore?
Romance is dead!!!! Right?
Maybe to society, but not to me.
...................................................................................................................
When you're in a relationship, you have to give everything you have to that other person.
What do I mean by everything?
Time. Love. Support. Energy. Romance. Intimacy. Money (kidding), but you get the point.
Why be in a relationship if you're not willing to give those things 100% of the time?
I have known a lot of people that turn away when their relationship gets sour.
You can't give up and throw away a relationship based on something uncontrollable or an unforeseen event.
I like to think I keep romance alive. I would actually get out of my car to come pick you up at the door. I would bring you flowers. I would open the car door for you and even pull your chair out at a nice restaurant.
What do you think happens when I do all of that?
People begin to stare. Why?
Because it is no longer considered the norm.
Again. Romance is dead!!!
But not to me.
....................................................................................................................
This is how to truly be in a relationship.
Time: No matter how busy you are, you will always make time for your partner. You can work twelve hour days and go to school full time, it doesn't matter, you will make time.
Love: Being able to truly love someone in the good times and the bad. You need to show your love. Saying "I love you" might not always be enough. Be there for them.
Support: Saying "If you need anything at all, let me know" is a great way to start, but you have to actually mean that. Would you be willing to wake up at 3:30am and drive 20 miles just because they need you there in person? Would you be there for them if one of their family members died and the funeral was halfway across the country on the same day you had a huge interview for your dream job? If you answered "yes" to these questions, then I applaud you.
Energy: You have to be willing to do things he/she enjoys even if you are not fond of it yourself. This takes energy to deal with it. When you realize you're doing it to make the other person happy, you will feel even more joyed about it. It is kind of a revelation all on its own.
Triangular Theory of Love: I feel this is pretty self explanatory, but the goal is to meet in the middle at all three components. Consummate love.
Loyalty: You need to be faithful. YOU NEED TO BE FAITHFUL!!! Sex is not the only way to cheat on someone. If you're texting someone else behind their back, you're already there. If you're telling someone else the problems you're having in your relationship without that other person being aware of it, that is called being emotionally unfaithful. If you're letting someone caress your hand or neck or whatever, that is cheating. You are in a relationship and you need to know that there is more than one way to be unfaithful to somebody. Your loyalty should be to the person you're in a relationship with. Being cheated on hurts. Don't do that to somebody. If you aren't happy then end the relationship. "Loyalty Beyond Reason." No reason justifies being unfaithful.
You can do all of this day after day, but it won't mean a damn thing if you don't truly mean it. We have to commit to this. We have to commit to them. A lot of people in this day and age won't commit to staying true to something like this for the rest of their lives, so they break up.
The Highlight Reel: This is what people expect while in a relationship. All the fun dates. Adventures. Smiles. Good times.We like to post these times on social media.
Behind the Scenes: This is the part of the relationship we don't post on social media. Crying. Tear stained bed sheets. Fights and arguments.
A relationship is both the highlight reel and the behind the scenes. You have to be willing to deal with the bad times just as much as you are willing to enjoy the good times.
Humans are fragile. We can break easily and most of the time we just need someone to help keep us together.
Be and do all of these things for your partner. Your relationship will be so much stronger in the end. It has to work both ways though!
All I know is, I will do everything in my power to make sure my next relationship is my last relationship.
The majority of society doesn't commit anymore.
Intimacy does not lie in a string of emoji.
Effort is not a good morning text.
Caring is not asking "How was your day?" to which they reply "good" or "bad" then the conversation is over.
Attention does not mean love.
A date is not sitting across from one another at a restaurant while you're both on your phones.
So, why don't people commit anymore?
Romance is dead!!!! Right?
Maybe to society, but not to me.
...................................................................................................................
When you're in a relationship, you have to give everything you have to that other person.
What do I mean by everything?
Time. Love. Support. Energy. Romance. Intimacy. Money (kidding), but you get the point.
Why be in a relationship if you're not willing to give those things 100% of the time?
I have known a lot of people that turn away when their relationship gets sour.
You can't give up and throw away a relationship based on something uncontrollable or an unforeseen event.
I like to think I keep romance alive. I would actually get out of my car to come pick you up at the door. I would bring you flowers. I would open the car door for you and even pull your chair out at a nice restaurant.
What do you think happens when I do all of that?
People begin to stare. Why?
Because it is no longer considered the norm.
Again. Romance is dead!!!
But not to me.
....................................................................................................................
This is how to truly be in a relationship.
Time: No matter how busy you are, you will always make time for your partner. You can work twelve hour days and go to school full time, it doesn't matter, you will make time.
Love: Being able to truly love someone in the good times and the bad. You need to show your love. Saying "I love you" might not always be enough. Be there for them.
Support: Saying "If you need anything at all, let me know" is a great way to start, but you have to actually mean that. Would you be willing to wake up at 3:30am and drive 20 miles just because they need you there in person? Would you be there for them if one of their family members died and the funeral was halfway across the country on the same day you had a huge interview for your dream job? If you answered "yes" to these questions, then I applaud you.
Energy: You have to be willing to do things he/she enjoys even if you are not fond of it yourself. This takes energy to deal with it. When you realize you're doing it to make the other person happy, you will feel even more joyed about it. It is kind of a revelation all on its own.
Triangular Theory of Love: I feel this is pretty self explanatory, but the goal is to meet in the middle at all three components. Consummate love.
You can do all of this day after day, but it won't mean a damn thing if you don't truly mean it. We have to commit to this. We have to commit to them. A lot of people in this day and age won't commit to staying true to something like this for the rest of their lives, so they break up.
The Highlight Reel: This is what people expect while in a relationship. All the fun dates. Adventures. Smiles. Good times.We like to post these times on social media.
Behind the Scenes: This is the part of the relationship we don't post on social media. Crying. Tear stained bed sheets. Fights and arguments.
A relationship is both the highlight reel and the behind the scenes. You have to be willing to deal with the bad times just as much as you are willing to enjoy the good times.
Humans are fragile. We can break easily and most of the time we just need someone to help keep us together.
Be and do all of these things for your partner. Your relationship will be so much stronger in the end. It has to work both ways though!
All I know is, I will do everything in my power to make sure my next relationship is my last relationship.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
A Little History #2 - Tunguska Event
On June 30th 1908 a mysterious explosion occurred in the skies over
Siberia. It was caused by the breakup of a large meteor. However, the
meteor never touched earth, there was no impact. The meteor simply burst
in mid air approximately 6 miles above ground level. However, the force
of the explosion was so powerful that it flattened 830 square miles of
forest in Siberia knocking over more than 80 million trees. This force
is equivalent to 15 megatons of TNT which is about 1,000 times greater
than the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima. This was called the Tunguska
event.
 |
| Flattened Trees due to meteor explosion |
Friday, January 29, 2016
A Little History #1 - Water Crystals
In 1994, Dr. Masaru Emoto proved that intentions influence physical
reality by developing a technique using a powerful microscope and high
speed photography. Dr. Emoto discovered that crystals formed in frozen
water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed
towards them. His experiment shows that water from clear springs and
water exposed to loving words like "I love you" shows brilliant, complex
and colorful snowflake patterns. In contrast, polluted water or water
exposed to negative intentions like "I hate you" forms incomplete,
asymmetrical and dull colored patterns. Dr. Emoto was able to replicate
this experience around Japan and the U.S. to show that indeed, our
attitudes and emotions affect not only ourselves, but the environment
around us.
 |
| Crystals formed in frozen water revealing snowflake patterns |
Thursday, January 7, 2016
What 2015 taught me
As 2015 comes to an end I must say I have learned a lot in this last year. I got a wake up call, I have had my heart broken, I got my shit together, went from being friends with everyone to keeping my circle small. Nobody is really down for you like you'd think. Anyway, this is what I learned in 2015.
1.) I have always tried to be an independent person and for the most part I am. I like figuring out how to solve my own problems and taking responsibility for myself in all aspects of my life. If I were ever in a Castaway type situation like (Tom Hanks) I would probably describe the situation as "I was fine, it was just a little boring." However, this year more than any other I have learned that my family is my support system. I have to specifically mention my mom though, because she is the ONLY person that truly, to her core, appreciates me. She is the only person that I know who has always had my back and been there for me even in the toughest situations. I am so far beyond mentioning my heartbreak from months past, but I don't know if I could have gotten over that without my mom, but somehow she always gets me through whatever it is I am going through. I have realized just how strong I actually am, and how strong I can be, if the situation were to call for it.
2.) I have learned that time replaces so many memories, even those you thought you would never be able to forget. And to those who think you'll never get over someone, believe me, you eventually do. This past year has been the greatest year of my life. I have never felt so free. Her leaving made me the strongest person I could ever be.
3.) My happiness is up to me and no one else. All I have to do is decide to be happy. Who knew a book could have such an impact on your life and make you see things from a different perspective. I will be doing a post about the 5 books that changed my life and why everyone should read them, but more on that in the future.
4.) Life is much better when you stop keeping track of all the favors you've done for other people. The only reason to keep track is if you expect something in return. I have stopped counting. When you tell somebody about a nice act of human kindness that you did, you are rubbing it in, you want people to appreciate you and to like you. Do something nice for somebody every single day AND DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. ANYONE!!!!!
5.) I learned somethings aren't worth getting upset over. Pick your battles as my mom would say. Don't ruin something good that will be irrelevant in an hour. I have become much more relaxed and calmer. These little things don't bug me anymore because I refuse to let them.
6.) Just because something looks easy, don't assume it will be. (Driving Range for the first time).
Though there are only six, I feel like my eyes have been opened to the more important things in life. I have learned a lot about myself and I will continue to learn about who I truly am now that it's 2016. Don't worry, I will share everything I can.
1.) I have always tried to be an independent person and for the most part I am. I like figuring out how to solve my own problems and taking responsibility for myself in all aspects of my life. If I were ever in a Castaway type situation like (Tom Hanks) I would probably describe the situation as "I was fine, it was just a little boring." However, this year more than any other I have learned that my family is my support system. I have to specifically mention my mom though, because she is the ONLY person that truly, to her core, appreciates me. She is the only person that I know who has always had my back and been there for me even in the toughest situations. I am so far beyond mentioning my heartbreak from months past, but I don't know if I could have gotten over that without my mom, but somehow she always gets me through whatever it is I am going through. I have realized just how strong I actually am, and how strong I can be, if the situation were to call for it.
2.) I have learned that time replaces so many memories, even those you thought you would never be able to forget. And to those who think you'll never get over someone, believe me, you eventually do. This past year has been the greatest year of my life. I have never felt so free. Her leaving made me the strongest person I could ever be.
3.) My happiness is up to me and no one else. All I have to do is decide to be happy. Who knew a book could have such an impact on your life and make you see things from a different perspective. I will be doing a post about the 5 books that changed my life and why everyone should read them, but more on that in the future.
4.) Life is much better when you stop keeping track of all the favors you've done for other people. The only reason to keep track is if you expect something in return. I have stopped counting. When you tell somebody about a nice act of human kindness that you did, you are rubbing it in, you want people to appreciate you and to like you. Do something nice for somebody every single day AND DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. ANYONE!!!!!
5.) I learned somethings aren't worth getting upset over. Pick your battles as my mom would say. Don't ruin something good that will be irrelevant in an hour. I have become much more relaxed and calmer. These little things don't bug me anymore because I refuse to let them.
6.) Just because something looks easy, don't assume it will be. (Driving Range for the first time).
Though there are only six, I feel like my eyes have been opened to the more important things in life. I have learned a lot about myself and I will continue to learn about who I truly am now that it's 2016. Don't worry, I will share everything I can.
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