How To Truly Be In A Relationship

I am not sure how to even start this, so I might as well just jump into it.

The majority of society doesn't commit anymore.

Intimacy does not lie in a string of emoji.

Effort is not a good morning text.

Caring is not asking "How was your day?" to which they reply "good" or "bad" then the conversation is over.

Attention does not mean love.

A date is not sitting across from one another at a restaurant while you're both on your phones.

So, why don't people commit anymore?

Romance is dead!!!! Right?

Maybe to society, but not to me.
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When you're in a relationship, you have to give everything you have to that other person.

What do I mean by everything?

Time. Love. Support. Energy. Romance. Intimacy. Money (kidding), but you get the point.

Why be in a relationship if you're not willing to give those things 100% of the time?

I have known a lot of people that turn away when their relationship gets sour.

You can't give up and throw away a relationship based on something uncontrollable or an unforeseen event.

I like to think I keep romance alive. I would actually get out of my car to come pick you up at the door. I would bring you flowers. I would open the car door for you and even pull your chair out at a nice restaurant.

What do you think happens when I do all of that?

People begin to stare. Why?

Because it is no longer considered the norm.

Again. Romance is dead!!!

But not to me.
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This is how to truly be in a relationship.

Time: No matter how busy you are, you will always make time for your partner. You can work twelve hour days and go to school full time, it doesn't matter, you will make time.

Love: Being able to truly love someone in the good times and the bad. You need to show your love. Saying "I love you" might not always be enough. Be there for them.

Support: Saying "If you need anything at all, let me know" is a great way to start, but you have to actually mean that. Would you be willing to wake up at 3:30am and drive 20 miles just because they need you there in person? Would you be there for them if one of their family members died and the funeral was halfway across the country on the same day you had a huge interview for your dream job? If you answered "yes" to these questions, then I applaud you.

Energy: You have to be willing to do things he/she enjoys even if you are not fond of it yourself. This takes energy to deal with it. When you realize you're doing it to make the other person happy, you will feel even more joyed about it. It is kind of a revelation all on its own.

Triangular Theory of Love: I feel this is pretty self explanatory, but the goal is to meet in the middle at all three components.  Consummate love.

Loyalty: You need to be faithful. YOU NEED TO BE FAITHFUL!!! Sex is not the only way to cheat on someone. If you're texting someone else behind their back, you're already there. If you're telling someone else the problems you're having in your relationship without that other person being aware of it, that is called being emotionally unfaithful. If you're letting someone caress your hand or neck or whatever, that is cheating. You are in a relationship and you need to know that there is more than one way to be unfaithful to somebody. Your loyalty should be to the person you're in a relationship with. Being cheated on hurts. Don't do that to somebody. If you aren't happy then end the relationship. "Loyalty Beyond Reason." No reason justifies being unfaithful.

You can do all of this day after day, but it won't mean a damn thing if you don't truly mean it. We have to commit to this. We have to commit to them. A lot of people in this day and age won't commit to staying true to something like this for the rest of their lives, so they break up.


The Highlight Reel: This is what people expect while in a relationship. All the fun dates. Adventures. Smiles. Good times.We like to post these times on social media.

Behind the Scenes: This is the part of the relationship we don't post on social media. Crying. Tear stained bed sheets. Fights and arguments.

A relationship is both the highlight reel and the behind the scenes. You have to be willing to deal with the bad times just as much as you are willing to enjoy the good times.

Humans are fragile. We can break easily and most of the time we just need someone to help keep us together.

Be and do all of these things for your partner. Your relationship will be so much stronger in the end. It has to work both ways though!

All I know is, I will do everything in my power to make sure my next relationship is my last relationship.