There Is Nothing Wrong With You

If I could give one piece of advice to my younger self it would be that there is nothing wrong with me. That doesn't just go for me, but for each and every one of you who might be reading this. Does that sound cliche? I don't mean for it to sound like I'm patting you on the head telling you everything will be alright. I just want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You can try to be a better person or work harder, but that won't do anything to prove that you're worth your space in this world. The only person who can decide that is you. There is something extremely freeing when you realize that you are the one who gets to decide how you feel about literally everything. If you don't believe in who you are, then noting will ever matter.

There is nothing you have to prove to anyone. Even if someone told you that you couldn't do something and you then did it. You are the only person who has to accept yourself, don't waste your time trying to prove someone wrong. We all experience thoughts of not being good enough, not being lovable, not worthy of something, but there is no manner of things you can achieve in order to convince you of something you don't believe in yourself. It is alright to have emotions and beliefs about something as long as you remember you can't outrun your own life. These negative beliefs you have about yourself will grow over time and become hugely damaging beliefs. Trust me. I had searched for happiness and something greater than myself for a very long time. I finally realized that I am the one I have been looking for just as you are the one you have been looking for.

I need you to know that you are enough just the way you are. In all honesty, you're living what you believe about yourself. Everyday we have two options: to be thankful for what we have and to live in alignment with who we are, or to criticize ourselves and others because we or they aren't "good enough" and that's a losing game even if you think you've won. Don't let other people's options dictate how you live your life. As you've heard the quote "the ones that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter." At the end of the day you're living for YOU, and you don't have to let your ego dictate your decisions. You can have and be whatever you want, just get out of your own damn way!

Attention is not and never will be love. Likes on Facebook, followers on twitter are not an indictment of your value, no matter how many you have or don't. You are as valuable as you believe you are. Your value exists without condition. Your strength is in being a good person. It is not your loud voice. There is a strength in standing up for yourself even when it seems the entire world is against you. Each and every day is different and you can turn it all around with a quick decision to do so. Change comes slowly then all at once. Everything in this life is up to you. Do the things that make you come alive. Be the person you were meant to be. It is alright to feel things.

Lately I've been feeling kind of in-between-ey, I catch myself thinking about all the things I've wanted to be that have either ended or faded, things that have been left somewhere to rest in the past. I get nostalgic and wish I could relive it all. Life seems to speed up and slow down. You can live a year in a week, or experience months of quiet introspect. This is one of those quiet times, but I feel like something is about to happen. However, I am not in a hurry to find out what that something is, because I feel like right now is one of those parts of my life that the future me will look back on fondly and probably miss.

Just remember... There is nothing wrong with you!

You're valuable
You're lovable
You're worthy of everything you want.

How To Truly Be In A Relationship

I am not sure how to even start this, so I might as well just jump into it.

The majority of society doesn't commit anymore.

Intimacy does not lie in a string of emoji.

Effort is not a good morning text.

Caring is not asking "How was your day?" to which they reply "good" or "bad" then the conversation is over.

Attention does not mean love.

A date is not sitting across from one another at a restaurant while you're both on your phones.

So, why don't people commit anymore?

Romance is dead!!!! Right?

Maybe to society, but not to me.
 ...................................................................................................................

When you're in a relationship, you have to give everything you have to that other person.

What do I mean by everything?

Time. Love. Support. Energy. Romance. Intimacy. Money (kidding), but you get the point.

Why be in a relationship if you're not willing to give those things 100% of the time?

I have known a lot of people that turn away when their relationship gets sour.

You can't give up and throw away a relationship based on something uncontrollable or an unforeseen event.

I like to think I keep romance alive. I would actually get out of my car to come pick you up at the door. I would bring you flowers. I would open the car door for you and even pull your chair out at a nice restaurant.

What do you think happens when I do all of that?

People begin to stare. Why?

Because it is no longer considered the norm.

Again. Romance is dead!!!

But not to me.
 ....................................................................................................................

This is how to truly be in a relationship.

Time: No matter how busy you are, you will always make time for your partner. You can work twelve hour days and go to school full time, it doesn't matter, you will make time.

Love: Being able to truly love someone in the good times and the bad. You need to show your love. Saying "I love you" might not always be enough. Be there for them.

Support: Saying "If you need anything at all, let me know" is a great way to start, but you have to actually mean that. Would you be willing to wake up at 3:30am and drive 20 miles just because they need you there in person? Would you be there for them if one of their family members died and the funeral was halfway across the country on the same day you had a huge interview for your dream job? If you answered "yes" to these questions, then I applaud you.

Energy: You have to be willing to do things he/she enjoys even if you are not fond of it yourself. This takes energy to deal with it. When you realize you're doing it to make the other person happy, you will feel even more joyed about it. It is kind of a revelation all on its own.

Triangular Theory of Love: I feel this is pretty self explanatory, but the goal is to meet in the middle at all three components.  Consummate love.

Loyalty: You need to be faithful. YOU NEED TO BE FAITHFUL!!! Sex is not the only way to cheat on someone. If you're texting someone else behind their back, you're already there. If you're telling someone else the problems you're having in your relationship without that other person being aware of it, that is called being emotionally unfaithful. If you're letting someone caress your hand or neck or whatever, that is cheating. You are in a relationship and you need to know that there is more than one way to be unfaithful to somebody. Your loyalty should be to the person you're in a relationship with. Being cheated on hurts. Don't do that to somebody. If you aren't happy then end the relationship. "Loyalty Beyond Reason." No reason justifies being unfaithful.

You can do all of this day after day, but it won't mean a damn thing if you don't truly mean it. We have to commit to this. We have to commit to them. A lot of people in this day and age won't commit to staying true to something like this for the rest of their lives, so they break up.


The Highlight Reel: This is what people expect while in a relationship. All the fun dates. Adventures. Smiles. Good times.We like to post these times on social media.

Behind the Scenes: This is the part of the relationship we don't post on social media. Crying. Tear stained bed sheets. Fights and arguments.

A relationship is both the highlight reel and the behind the scenes. You have to be willing to deal with the bad times just as much as you are willing to enjoy the good times.

Humans are fragile. We can break easily and most of the time we just need someone to help keep us together.

Be and do all of these things for your partner. Your relationship will be so much stronger in the end. It has to work both ways though!

All I know is, I will do everything in my power to make sure my next relationship is my last relationship.